


Fictober Prompts: In the Kitchen of Keeping Secrets

by Kayleana



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, keeping secrets - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-03
Packaged: 2020-01-01 11:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18334067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kayleana/pseuds/Kayleana
Summary: Tay constantly gets Breena into trouble during work, but all Breena wants to do is make desserts. Can Tay pull Breena out of her ass? Can Breena make Ser Phillium's perfect desserts every day for a month? What happens when Breena is made to take food to the Inquisitor?These are based off of the kitchen in Keeping Secrets by ElvenSemi.  They are shitty, I know. Welcome. I meant to post these like...back in October, so RIP. Each prompt is about...300 words or less? Something like that.  I think the only character that shows up from the KS universe is Belassan, so don't get your hopes up.





	Fictober Prompts: In the Kitchen of Keeping Secrets

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElvenSemi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvenSemi/gifts).



**Day 1 “Can you feel this?”**

The back of your neck itches as sweat clogs your pores. You place a few cupcakes on the tray as the kitchen fills with elves getting ready for the day. The smell of strawberry whips around as someone shakes out their apron nearby. Cakes for some prickly noble, probably. Had to have their cakes in some swirly shape on the tray. And for breakfast?

“For Ser Phillium?” Tay asks, dipping her curly head down to take a whiff.

You smack her forehead. “Get yer nasty head outta my cakes.”

Tay rubs her head. “Can I have just one?”

Before you can say no, three cakes are gone.

The tips of your ears burn. “Can ya feel that?”

“Feel what?”

“My anger. Get to work.”

 

**Day 2 “People like you have no imagination.”**

All damn week you’ve arranged pastries in some sort of gods forsaken shape. Swirly, circular, and now vallaslin shaped because you’re a damned elf who is supposed to know the fucking types of vallaslin.

“Hey, Tay,” you ask, leaning over the counter to tap her shoulder. “What fuck sorta vallaslin do I pick?”

Tay laughs. “You religious now?”

“Fuck you. Ser Philawhatever has a Dalish fetish. You knew a Dalish.”

“How about the god of promiscuity?”

“What’s that look like?”

Tay rubs her hands together, laughing and snorting at the same time like a damn bull. She places the cupcakes in a…

“That’s a gods damn penis,” you shout, slapping her hand away. Everyone in the kitchen turns towards you.

Tay shakes her head back and forth and sighs. “No, it’s a vallaslin. You just have no imagination.”

Four pastries are gone when you look at your tray.

 

**Day 3 “How can I trust you?”**

As the other elves prepare meats and potatoes for dinner, you lean against the counter and sigh, staring at the three small orange cakes you just iced.

Tay skips in and sits on the counter. “Ya need some help?”

“I’m just deciding if I want to add fruit to the top in a vertical or horizontal position.”

Tay laughs. “Sending signals to your new boyfriend?”

You drop an orange slice. “Nothing of the sort.”

The chef walks in as Tay pops a orange slice in her mouth. You attempt to push her off the counter, but she thinks you’re starting a tickle fight, so you step away and look at the floor. You’re not getting in trouble again.

“Hey chef, how long is Ser Phillibut gonna be here,” Tay asks, jumping off the counter. “I think the desserts are getting to Breena’s head.”

The corners of the chef’s mouth curl into an I’m-trying-not-to-smile smile. “The whole damn month.”

Tay is never called a knife ear. The chef is always easy on her; they even joke occasionally, damn them. The chef hates you, but if Tay’s around, at least you’re covered. Still, the thought of her chummy with him makes your skin burn.

“And he’s super pissy today. Get a move on,” the chef continues, taking a bread pan and walking into the other room.

Tay pats you on the back, her hand lingering longer than it should. “Don’t worry, I’ll help ya.”

You roll your eyes and place the orange slice vertical on the cakes. “Yeah? And how can I trust a cake-stealing, shem-licking thief?”

Tay’s hand drops, and she leaves the room. You turn to stop her, but she’s gone.

As you go to pick up the dessert tray, none of the cakes are gone.

 

**Day 4 “Will that be all?”**

Tay has avoided you for a few days. Not that it really matters; you can get more work done without her gabbing. Still, the air feels cooler without her around, and the rest of the kitchen staff have already formed their own cliques…none of which you are apart.

The air smells of cinnamon as you take the bite-sized apple pies out of the oven and set them aside to cool. Today you have to deliver the tray up to Ser Phillabutt. The gal who usually takes it is down with a fever.

There are no instructions for the pie arrangement; maybe the prickly noble has a little faith in your artistic abilities. After you’re satisfied with your diagonal arrangement, you head out the kitchen, through the main hall, up the stairs, and to his door. Luckily, it’s the first door by the stairwell. You take a deep breath and knock.

“Come in,” a high-pitched voice squeals.

You open the door to find an almost empty room, save for a bed, desk, and a chair. The noble stands up from his desk and pushes his chair in and out a few times before leaving it under the desk again. He motions for you to set the tray down, and you do so. There is a single book on the desk with golden tree branches swirling around the green binding.

The noble is a lot thinner than you expected. Pity his nose is so large and crooked, or he’d be a rather handsome fellow. Not many men can fancy an Orlesian braid, or so far that you’ve seen.

“Will that be all,” he asks, his thumbs dancing around each other.

Fuck, isn’t that supposed to be what you ask? “Yes, ser. I’ll take my leave. Good day.” You walk backwards out the room, bowing your head the whole way. You hear him whisper a thank you as you shut the door.

Before you can question what in the void just occurred, you hear Tay’s loud ass laughter coming from the courtyard below. She’s doing somersaults across the grass. You tear your eyes away and head back to work.

 

**Day 5 “Take what you need.”**

Today Ser Phillium wants blueberry pie for breakfast. You cut the pie into tiny squares. The noble can only eat bite sized food, it seems. You’re still not exactly sure what to think of the man, but something is definitely off about him. You’re just happy that he’s happy with your cooking, though you’d never admit it out loud.

It has been awhile since your desserts have gone missing. Thankfully the noble never complains about the amount of food, but it still makes your palms sweat just thinking about it. You glance toward the door, half expecting Tay to waltz in and grab a piece.

As you turn to look for cream, you run into a large…hat. You look down to see a boy with blonde wispy hair and eye bags the size of strawberries.

“Hello,” he says, his voice low and ghastly.

“Ah…hello.” You give a small wave. Mom always told you to be nice to strangers. They could mug you for you for money later…and this boy seemed the type.

“Stomach burning like the brick oven. Slender hands sprinkled with cinnamon. She wants them in her hair.”

“Wait…what?”

“May I have one of the pies? It would make her happy.”

“Sure, take what you need.” You move out of the way. Better to give the boy what he wants than get stabbed later.

The boy grabs a piece and disappears. Wait, did he literally just disappear? You look around the kitchen and check the storage room. He really did…wait, what were you looking for? Cream, that’s right. You need a bowl of cream.

 

**Day 6 “I heard enough. This ends now!”**

The concrete pillars in the gardens of the courtyard glow from the moons. You take another swig from the bottle you’d borrowed from the kitchens. Your throat burns as the alcohol trickles down your throat. You’ve always had issues with acidity, but who gives a fuck when you’ve been called knife ear one too many times in a day? The Inquisition owes you a few drinks.

Tay had been doing somersaults in the courtyard. Maybe you should try? You stand, but the ground seems to sweep out from under you. Cold as arms catch you before you hit the ground.

You take a moment for your eyes to unfog. Crooked nose. Braid. You laugh. He drops you.

“Ou, what'dya do that fer?”

Ser Phillubut sighs and crosses his arms. “My nose…you know, never mind. There are some men in the corner who have been staring at you for some time.”

“So yeve also been a starin ya? Gross.”

“No,” he says, raising his hands. “I’ve been strolling the gardens. I find it more comfortable with less people.”

You laugh. A ser who hates people. Everybody hates people. People hate people. You look at the sky and take a deep breath. “I’ll kick their ass. I’ve heerd enough. This ends now!” You swing your hand forward, but Phill moves out of the way.

“Well, it seems you have it under control then.” He opens a book and sits on the glowy steps. Wait, where did he get a book?

“I can read,” you say proudly. Cuz you can. A little.

Ser Phillboot ignores you. Fuck shems. Shems are friggin weird. Readin books under the moon.

You plop down and stare at the stars. You miss Tay.

 

**Day 7 No worries, just tell me what to do**

People are yelling all throughout the kitchen, but it sounds like distant murmurs. Tay taps your shoulder. Her mouth moves, but it takes awhile for you to hear her words.

“Breena, woman! What is wrong with ya?” Tay fanatically waves her hand in front of your face.

“They want cheesecake. I’m allergic to cheese.” It’s why you told them you were excellent at desserts. Most desserts don’t involve cheese, but fuck your life and Fereldens.

“Even I’m a bit intolerant, but cream cheese doesn’t bother…”

“No, no, you don’t understand. They don’t just want cheesecake, they want a CHEESE cake. Like, a block of cheese and icing and crust, and GAH.”

Tay shakes her head. “You can’t be serious. Ser Phillbut?”

“No, a group of Ferelden nobles cousins brothers or some shite. I don’t know the details. I just know I need to make a ton.” You sigh. “This is how I die.”

“I’ll take to Chef,” Tay says, popping her neck. “Get someone else to do it.”

“I don’t have time. They need it for lunch.”

Tay grabs a tray and slaps it on the counter. “Don’t worry. We still have time. Just tell me what to do.”

You take Tay on her offer, despite her absences from work and her inability to make desserts. Tay’s more of an errand gal, but fuck it, you had a cheese cake to make.

 

**Day 8 “I know you do.”**

The sun is setting as you and Tay find a place on the roof to eat dinner. With the amount of fucking nobles visiting, there hadn’t been much left to eat, but you’re happy with the loaf of bread you’d found.

You plop down away from the edge of the roof and chew on your bread. You hate heights. Tay sits with her feet dangling off the roof.

“You’re such a chicken,” she says, taking a bite of her salmon sandwich.

“Get dizzy looking down. Can’t help it.” You pause. “Where do ya get so much good food, anyway?”

Tay shrugs. “I have my ways.”

You roll your eyes. You mean stealing and fucking, you wanna say, but you keep your mouth shut. “Well, get me some next time.”

“I don’t get food for judgmental friends.”

“At least I’m still your friend.”

“Ya gonna apologize?”

You sigh and cross your legs. “Sorry. I was an ass.”

“That you were. Apology accepted.”

Tay takes her hair out of a bun and shakes her curly head. You’re tempted to reach out and touch it. You squeeze your loaf. Tay always comes and goes. She’s in the kitchens for a month, then leaves for a week. She’s flakey, vulgar, and lazy. Nonetheless, she always manages to save your ass.

“Thanks for helping. With the cheese,” you say.

Tay laughs. “Couldn’t have ya dead under my watch. I care about ya, ya know?”

The tips of your ears burn. “I know you do.”

Tay throws you half her sandwich.

You catch it, barely. “I can’t eat this.”

Tay scoots back, takes the sandwich from you, and shoves it in your mouth. “Eat you skinny bitch.”

You comply.

 

**Day 9 “You shouldn’t have come here”**

The place right under your ass cheeks hurts something fierce with every step you take to the barns. What’s that below-the-ass place called? Tay would probably say the “Crack of Dawn” or something equally ridiculous.

You stop to stretch your legs a bit and pop your back. You’ve been on your knees all day, and certainly not for any good reason. Perhaps you are aging early like your mom; your eyes do feel a bit saggy.

Since coming to Skyhold, you haven’t visited the barns. Why walk across Skyhold when by the time you get off work, your feet are bleeding? Even so, today you are determined. Someone in the kitchen mentioned a halla in the stable.

As you near the barn, you see Tay’s bright curly head and…a very burly man with a big ass beard. She’s pinning him against the wall of the barn. Dear Andraste, you didn’t know she was into that type. Maybe that’s why she got so offended at your human fucker insult. You take to the opposite wall so she doesn’t spot you.

The man’s eyes dart around and look towards you. Shit. You grab a broom and pretend to sweep. Tay slams her fist against the wall.

“You shouldn’t have come here,” she says through gritted teeth towards the man.

Shit shit shit shiitttttt. This is not sexual. The poor bearded man bows his head and apologizes and mumbles and you really don’t know what because you veer to the left.

You pass a few dappled horses. Would they keep halla with horses? You’ve only taken care of horses before. Halla just roamed free in the fields. That was before they found out your talent for cooking.

“Can I help you?”

A shirtless, Dalish man stands up from a stall and pats his hands on his pants. His tattoos are faded against his skin. His chest is larger than yours, and you’re sure he could crush you with…those toned arms into a nice hug. You take in a breath. “They said there’d be a halla.” Your words echo across the barn like a squealing mouse.

“A halla,” he asks, walking up to you and gently patting your shoulder and grinning. “Come with me, I’d be happy to show you all the halla.”

He takes you to an open pasture where a few halla graze. One bucks in the background, swinging its head back and forth.

The man laughs. “The one bucking is Alas. He is a little off, but we love him all the same.”

“I love him, too.” Shit, that was probably weird to say.

“Name’s Belassan,” he says, grinning. “The halla don’t have many visitors, so it’s nice of you to come. Would you like to pet one?”

You nod like an idiot and follow him through the wooded gate. Alas stops bucking when you arrive and chews on Belassan’s pockets.

“You’re already too fat,” he says, pushing the halla’s snout away.

You reach out and touch Alas’s nose, which is probably a bad idea since he was kicking like a crazed nug earlier. To your surprise, Alas pushes his snout into your hand and lets you rub his head.

“That’s his sweet spot. You see there?” Belassan rubs the halla’s head. “It’s a little whiter than the rest, like a little smile.”

You scratch Alas’s sweet spot, causing him to turn his head slightly to the left. His fur reminds you of your mom’s chalk, her bony fingers drawing antlers against the barn wall. You kiss his nose, and the smell of grass and barn surrounds you.

“It’s nice to find someone else who appreciates halla around here,” Belassan says, chuckling. “Well, one that doesn’t run off to the desert with them. Be sure to stop by any time you want. We need more people socializing them.”

You rub Alas’s velvet antlers. “Yes, I’ll do that.” It was so worth walking all the way here with a sore ass and blistered feet.

 

**Day 10 “You think this troubles me?”**

It has been a couple of days since you’ve spent time with Alas, and you want to run straight to the barns on your break. Unfortunately, Tay actually decides to come into work today and grabs you for lunch on the roof.

“Why ya look so down,” she asks, biting into a chocolate cookie she stole from you earlier.

You sigh. “I dunno, maybe if you’d quit skipping work and then coming in like ya own the place, I wouldn’t be so down.”

“I’m a busy woman.”

You think of the bearded man. “You mean hitting on guys, literally?”

She shrugs. “Ah, ya saw that. I was just trying to scare him a little. He ain’t all bad.”

“Right…so you have some secret life involving hairy men?”

“You ever heard of good Templar bad Templar?”

“Yea? Mom used that when going to the market.”

“Well, I’m the bad Templar.”

It makes sense for Tay to be involved in something dirty. You lean in and keep your voice low. “Tay, do the kitchens trouble you? I’m here for ya, you know. You can tell me anything. I don’t want to see you lose your job over some scrap.”

Tay chokes a bit on her cookie and does her snort-laugh. “You think this troubles me? Gods be damned Breena, this is the easiest fucking job I’ve ever had in my life.”

You throw your cookie at her. “Fuck you.” The cookie flies past her head and down below.

“Fuck you, too,” someone from the courtyard screams.

Well, shit. Not only did you hit an innocent, you wasted your damn cookie.

 

**Day 11 “But I will never forget!”**

You slice strawberries into rose petal shapes and dip the edges in chocolate. You’ve gotten the hang of Ser Phillium’s odd tastes. Today you’ll have to take breakfast to him, so the tray needs to be as aesthetically pleasing as possible.

You slap your forehead. For the love of Andraste’s tits, why does it matter?

Tay saunters in, balancing a tray of cups on her head. “Hiya!”

“Put that down before you break something.” You reach over and take the tray, setting it down on the counter.

“Whatever, my balance is impeccable.”

“Says the woman who almost fell off the roof the other day.”

“That’s because I couldn’t stop laughing!”

You roll your eyes. “Sure…sure.”

Tay starts stacking the cups into a…well, you’re not sure what shape quite yet, but she sure as hell isn’t busy. Surely Tay could help you with the tray. “Hey Tay…”

“No, I’m busy.”

“Come on, just take this tray up to him.”

“That’s your job. I’m busy.”

“No, you’re just playing around the kitchen and…” You slap her hand away from a strawberry. “And stealing my goods.”

She snorts. “I’m seriously busy, Breena. End of story.”

Tay leaves the room. What’s her issue? She is unusually salty today, so maybe it’s best if you leave her be. You make the finishing touches to the tray, take a deep breath, and emerge out of the kitchen.

Skyhold isn’t too busy around 5am, thankfully. Why anyone would want to eat dessert this early has baffled you for days, but Phillium is an eccentric noble.

As you walk into Phillium’s room, he does his same chair scooting thing. The same golden trimmed book lies on the desk. You quickly and gently set the tray down. You bow your head and walk backwards to get the hell out of the room.

“I’ll never forget your desserts,” he says before you get to the door.

Shit, why does he have to make things weird? Why does he even want to talk to an elf? She isn’t Dalish or whatever his fetish is. You force a smile. “You are too kind, ser.”

“Really, no one ever gets them right, and yours are all beautiful. My mum used to make the cooks fix mush for breakfast, lunch, and dinner because I was a…ah, a bit on the chubby side.” He rubs his neck. “So thanks.”

Damn, is he really just gonna stand there and put a loud of baggage on you? “Well…shit, that’s rough. Still, you need to watch out for your health. This ain’t good either.” Hell, you’d be dead if you ate like this man.

He scoots his chair back and forth and looks down. “I’ll take it into consideration.”

You smile and back the fuck out of the door. You are paying Tay to take the damn tray next time.

 

**Day 12 “Who could do this?”**

Chef has been kinder lately. Well, keeping his mouth shut, but that’s a lot kinder than yelling. Today, he has hardly been seen, to your relief. You open the door out of the storage room to dump oils when you hear meowing. You veer the corner to look for the kitten only to see Chef bottle feeding a small, one-eared grey fuzzball.

“Who could do this to you? Poor thing,” he says, setting the bottle down and scratching the kitten’s ear.

You back into the kitchen. Andraste only knows what he’d fucking do if he saw that you’d seen him. Whatever it takes to make him less grumpy, you’re all for it.

You bump into Tay in the storage room, who shushes you and cracks the door to peak outside. “Isn’t it cute,” she asks, putting a hand to her chest. “Everyone’s got a soft spot. Some people just need help finding it.”

“I dunno about cute. Thought he was breastfeeding it at first. About startled me to death.” You set your bucket down in the corner.

Tay rolls her eyes and gently shuts the door. “You’re just jealous he’s been cuddling a kitten all day.”

You might be a tad jealous. “Well, I’m just glad the poor thing is getting some saving.”

The two of you walk out of the storage room together. Tay pats you on the back. “You gonna see the sexy halla keepe…I mean, the halla today?”

“You bet. Alas gets upset without me visiting. You comin? Or are you too busy?”

“Fuck yeah, I’ll race you there.”

Tay gets a head start as usual, and you run as fast as you can after. Poor Belassan is gonna have his hands full today.

 

**Day 13 “Try harder next time”**

The courtyard is all glowy again. Your cheeks tingle like tiny fire needles. The edges of your cheeks. Do cheeks have edges? Your cheekbones. You laugh and take another swig. What did you borrow again? The bottle looks smaller than than it did in the storage room. You roll to your side and inhale the prickly grass. It smells so grassy and nice. If only there were hills. Rolling hills.

“Of course I’d find ya here.” Tay sits next to you, crossing her legs. “Rough day?”

“Yoooouuu bet.” You roll over and swing your arm on her lap. “I zoned out alllll day and my head was sooooo foggy. I need a nap.”

She pats your head. “So you decided to drink tonight?”

“Chef gave me the day off tomorrow. Somethin ‘bout…told me to just try harder next time.”

“Interesting.” Tay takes her fingers and scratches your head.

“That is sooooo nice.”

“Can’t resist a pretty head of hair.”

“Nahhh, my hair is so ugly and short and wavy and I like your curls.”

She chuckles. “I’ll braid it all tonight if you want? You can sleep on it so you’ll have really pretty waves tomorrow.”

“Pleasssse.” You roll onto your stomach and slam your head in her lap.

She takes a deep breath. “You’re too much.” She starts braiding your hair.

Your eyes feel heavy. So heavy. You inhale. Leather. Leather and pine.

 

**Day 14 “Some people call this wisdom”**

The morning crust in the corner of your right eye is practically stitched to your eyelid. You yawn and try to pick it out.

“You’re gonna rub your eyeball out of its socket if you keep doing that.” Tay hops on the counter next to you, holds your head back, and pokes around your eye. You try to fight back, but the crust falls in your eyeball.

“Fuck you,” you say, holding your eyelid out and trying to use the other hand to create a wind tunnel and blow the fucker out.

“Here, I can blow just fine.”

“I don’t trust you anymore.”

“Just let me blow your eyeball.”

“Get off me. You’re fucking crazy.”

Her nose touches yours and you still. You’ve never seen her eyes this close. Their hazel color merges into a honey colored star around the pupil. Your pulse hammers in your ears. She’s going to kiss you. Oh, Andraste, she’s going to kiss you, isn’t she? Her eyelashes are so long. She’s going to kiss you.

She blows as hard as she can.

“Crust out of your eye?”

“Yeah…yeah. Thanks. Your breath smells like rotten milk.”

She rolls her eyes. “You’re very welcome.”

Chef walks in and slams a wooden spoon on the counter. “Tay, quit bothering knife ears who actually work hard.”

Holy shit, did he just call you hard working? Holy shit. Well, it’s also been the first time he’s said knife ear in a few days, but still. Those kittens are really working.

Tay reaches forward and grabs the wooden spoon out of Chef’s hand. “Tsk tsk Mr. Chefferry. I’ll have to tell my lady about that.”

Chef clenches his jaw. “Oh yeah? See if I care.”

You step back. Is this what Tay meant about playing Bad Templar? Sweet Andraste. A few elves wandering in for the morning step back out the door.

Tay beats the spoon in her hand. “Some people call this wisdom, Mr. Cheffrey.” She pauses for a few seconds.

“Call what wisdom,” Chef asks.

Tay turns around, squats, and farts.

You don’t wait to see Chef’s face; you run the fuck out of the kitchen and into a bunch of elves eavesdropping at the doorway. Tay is on drugs. She must be. That fucking women is on drugs.

 

**Day 15 “I thought you had forgotten”**

Fuck your hairy fucking ass. You run up the stone stairs as fast as you can, the cold wind cutting across your cheeks. Ser Phillium is sensitive to nuts. Since it’s your day off, you didn’t make his breakfast, and some gal named Lily or whatever fixed a parfait filled with nutty layers. It’s a good thing you decided to check.

You calves burn as you reach the top of the stairs and slam your fist on the door. “Ser Phillium!”

“Yes,” he says weakly from the other side of the door.

You jerk open the door. Ser Phillium quickly stands up and pushes his chair in and out a few times. You glance at the table while he does his chair scoot thing. It seems the parfait has been left untouched at the edge of the tray on his desk.

You let out a breath and bow. “I apologize, ser.” Shit, your voice sounds wheezy. “I promise I will not let this happen again. Did you eat any of the nuts, ser?”

Ser Phillium stops his chair scooting. “No, I can see that they are nuts. I almost thought you’d forgotten, but since you ran all the way up here…well…” He chuckles nervously. “You obviously didn’t make this.”

“If I may.” You stand from your bow, walk to his desk, and lift his tray. “I will make whatever you wish, ser.”

“I trust your judgment.” He motions towards his book. “I have another chapter to read before I start eating, anyway.”

You glance down at the desk. It’s the same gold trimmed book. “Yes, ser. I will be as swift as I can.”

You exit the room and carefully walk down the stairs. Your right calf feels strained from the earlier run. You really hope next week isn’t as nutty. Sweet Andraste, Tay is rubbing off on you.

 

**Day 16 “This is gonna be so much fun.”**

You’re on the barn. Halla graze in the distance, and people clean horse shoes below. The trees haze in and out. You were only here to see Alas. Fuck Tay for dragging you up here. You open your mouth to complain, but Tay shushes you.

“Don’t ruin it,” she says, squatting down at the edge of the roof. “This is gonna be so much fun.”

“I’m gonna get sick. This is too high.”

“We eat on the roof all the time.”

You slap your palm on your mouth. “This. Much. Higher.” You take a deep breath and exhale out your nose. This probably isn’t any higher, but you’d finally gotten used to your lunch roof a bit, and you usually don’t have to sneak all over it.

She waves you off and pulls something out of her pants. “Come here. He’ll be out in a second.”

You sit on the roof and scoot your butt forward until you are near the edge. She makes you lie flat on your belly. Loud gurgling noises flip inside your belly.

“Tay…”

“Shhhhh.”

“Tay…I can’t…”

Your throat burns as the roof blurs, and you vomit off the side, the chunks of apple you had for breakfast activiting your gag reflex to vomit more.

When you look up, Tay is gone. You rub your sweaty neck. Shit. Belassan is below.

“Fenedhis.” Belassan wipes his boots on the ground and looks up. “You all right up there?”

“No. I’m sick.”

“I see. Let’s get you down and clean you up.”

How the fuck is he so nice? You sit up and rub your head.

Tay climbs up the side with a towel. “I’ll help her down.”

Tay wips your mouth and apologizes. “It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. My bad.”

You nod and let her clean you up and take you down. Belassan throws a bucket of cold water on you and apologizes for it being cold. You’re taking a nap today.

 

**Day 17 “I’ll tell you, but you’re not going to like it.”**

Tay is super quiet today. She swings her feet over the edge of your lunch roof, slowly chewing on a loaf of bread.

“Tay, anything wrong,” you ask. Earlier, she’d even taken Ser Phillium’s breakfast tray to him without a word.

“Yea,” she takes a minute to swallow. “Just a lot of gunk in my brain.”

“Throw it at me.” The two of you have never exchanged feelings…ok, so you’ve always been the feeling-exchanger, but still.

“I’ll tell ya, but you’re not gonna like it.”

“Hit me.”

“I’m being reassigned.”

Your chest tightens. “Oh?”

“Yea, they got me doin cleaning duty and shit with the maids.”

You exhale. “Well, you’re still gonna be here. We’ll see each other.”

Tay sighs angrily. “Sure, sure.”

“Yeah. What would I do without my trouble maker?”

“Your?”

You cover your ears. “Yeah, we’re friends after all. I mean, we’ve never said it aloud, and you’re always skippin out on me, but we’ve cookie thrown, and roof climbed, and I even threw up on a roof with you, and your always takin care of drunk me, and we eat together a lot and…”

Tay pulls your wrist towards her and kisses your cheek. You scream.

“Shit, I just kissed your cheek and you’re already screamin,” Tay says, letting go of your wrist.

You cover your ears again. “St…you started me.” You take a deep breath. “Sorry.”

Tay laughs. “Don’t apologize. Your face was priceless. I’ll have to look for more ways to surprise you.”

“I…I look forward to it.” You put your head in your hands, trying your hardest to keep from grinning off the roof. “Eat your damn bread. Quit starin.”

The two of you use the rest of lunch to watch the birds flitter across the courtyard, giving them goofy names like some damned old couple. You’re afraid you’ll fly away with them, and all for a damn cheek kiss.

 

**Day 18 “You should have seen it.”**

You slam your back against the stone wall in the stairwell and quiet your breath. People are stomping and yelling around the rotunda. You’re pretty fucking sure the Inquisitor is one of them. Everyone sounds like a bunch of barking mabaris. You strain your ears to listen, but the words echo and bounce off each other and the walls. Fuck your life, and fuck Tay for asking you to bring breakfast to the library. She looked pretty cute bent over a book, though. You aren’t the reading type, but maybe Tay could teach you.

Maybe you should sneak back up…

“You there!”

Fuckity fuck. You bow your head. “Yes, ser.”

“Take these reports up to Leliana.”

You take the reports without looking at the man’s face. “Yes, ser.”

You run the fuck up the stairs and straight to Tay, who is sitting on the table and munching on a muffin. “Who in the Maker’s name is Leliana?”

She narrows her eyes. “Why?”

“Didn’t ya hear any of that?” You flail your arms and point towards the stairs. “You should have seen it, you’re up here.”

She waves you off. “It’s my day off, I ignore that stuff. Besides, it’s all stupid, anyway. Hand me the reports. I’ll take them to her.”

You hold out the reports. “Thank you, thank you, I dont know who that was but…”

Tay sets the reports on the table and places her hands over yours. “You’re shaking. It’s fine. People just gettin pissy over people shit.” She rubs your hands. “Go to the kitchen and make some cookies. I’ll visit ya for lunch.”

You nod and watch her skip up the stairs higher into the rotunda. You peak over the stairwell to make sure everyone is out on the first floor. To your relief, it’s just the scary bald elf. You quickly bolt down the stairs and out the door. You’ll fix raisin cookies to make up for making Tay take up the reports. Well, it was her fault you were even in the situation, but you really want raisin cookies, anyway.

 

**Day 19 “Oh, please, like this is the worst I have done.”**

Your head pounds as if someone constantly beat a wooden spoon against your bedpost. You roll onto your side and groan, staring at the row of empty beds beside yours. At least they didn’t make you work sick. Not that you could, with the walls all spinny.

“Knock knock.” Tay walks through the door with a tray. “I brought ya soup and water.”

“Bless you.” You sit up and take the water from her. It soothes your scratchy throat, but your stomach starts twisting and cramping.

Tay sits beside you with the tray in her lap. “Here, I’ll feed ya. Open up.”

You set the water on the tray and slam your palm over your mouth. You stomach twists more.

“Shit, uh, shit,” Tay stands up and glances around before she sets the tray on your lap.

The smell of soup does you in, and you vomit all over the tray. You don’t feel any better afterwards, and the vomit smell makes you dry heave. Nothing more comes up, though. Sweet Andraste, it feels like you’ve swallowed hot oil. You grab the water and drink what’s left. Vomit drips off the bottom of the cup.

“I’m…sorry,” you say breathlessly, trying to set the water back down on the tray in a place vomit hasn’t occupied. “I’ll clean this up right away.”

Tay grabs the glass from you and sets it on the tray. “I got it. Just lie down.”

“No, that’s…”

“…I said I got it.”

“This is too gross, and it’s my mess and…”

She waves you off. “Oh, please. Like this is the worst thing I’ve cleaned.” She takes the tray. “Besides, you were a good gal and aimed for the tray. Less messy that way. I’ll get you something warm to drink. Just rest.”

You flop down, cuddling your head against the flat pillow. Tay hums a song as she leaves the room. A few months ago, you didn’t have anyone. Now you have someone cleaning your vomit. You cough. Skyhold isn’t so bad.

 

**Day 20 “I hope you have a speech prepared.”**

“Happy birthday!”

About eleven kitchen workers pop out of random areas of the kitchen and clap. You smile and wave. It’s not your fucking birthday, but the chocolate cake on the counter looks delectable. Chef grumbles something about hurrying up and leaves the room.

“I hope you have a speech prepared,” Tay says, placing an arm around your shoulders.

Well, shit. “Ah…thank you all for your support.” Even though everyone hates you…whatever, there’s a cake. “It may seem we don’t have a very important job, but we have the most important job. Feeding Skyhold. It was a rough start, but I’m glad to be here and to make so many friends.” You pause. “Let’s celebrate and eat cake.”

Everyone cheers. A blonde elf cuts the cake and passes it around. When she hands you a piece, she smiles and blushes, quickly moving on to the next person.

Tay stands next to you, placing her plate on the counter and stabbing her cake. “Damn, this looks good.”

You lean up and whisper in her ear. “What’s this all for?”

She shrugs. “For your birthday.”

“It’s not my birthday.”

“Shhh, it is now.”

You sigh and continue with your cake. Everyone is smiling and joking and even including you. It’s nice, so you’ll pretend it’s your birthday. For the cake, mostly.

 

**Day 21 “Impressive, truly.”**

Tay is supposed to be doing maid work, but here she is, in the kitchen, helping you make desserts for Ser Phillium.

You squeeze icing around the edges of the mini cake. “Your ability to skip on work is astonishing. Impressive, truly.”

“Thank you, but actually, I still have a job in the kitchen, so you’ll see me in here randomly.” She waves and smiles at chef, who sighs and quickly walks by them.

“Ugh, you’re holding it weird.” You set your tube down and put your hands around her hand. You move her thumb around the tube. “Then you squeeze.”

Tay winks. “Maybe I should come to the kitchen more often.”

You take a deep breath, and your ears warm up. “Well, I appreciate the help.” You rip your hands away from hers and continue working on your cake.

Tay tsks. “So many ways you could have responded.”

“Shut up.”

 

**Day 22 “I know how you love to play games.”**

“Just keep them shut.” You guide Tay through the tavern doors, careful to make sure she doesn’t trip.

“Okay, I know we’re in the tavern, can I open my eyes now?”

You sigh. This woman knows Skyhold like the back of her ass. “Sure, sure, whatever.”

Tay opens her eyes. “Wow, it’s a tavern full of people.”

You roll your eyes and wave around. “No, it’s a tournament.”

“A what?”

“I know how you love playing games, so I thought we’d join in on one.”

“Ain’t this for hide and seek?”

“Yeah, so?”

Before Tay can say anything, a dwarf jumps on a table and yells for attention.

“Greetings,” he says after everyone has quieted. “Today marks our first hide and seek tournament. Rules are that you must stay within Skyhold walls and if you’re caught, you have to come back to the tavern. There will be five seekers. Our lovely assistant will be passing out straw. If you have a straw dipped in ink, you are a seeker…”

The dwarf goes on to explain how the game works, but no one is listening. An elf walks around with the straw. You thankfully don’t get an ink straw, but Tay does.

“They’ll never see me comin,” she says, grinning.

“Anyone have any questions,” the dwarf asks, yelling over the crowd.

“Can we punch people,” someone asks.

The dwarf sighs. “There’s always one. Please, don’t cause too much pain, the healers have enough work.”

Most have already departed to find a hiding place. You wave at Tay and take off.

Tay would expect you to go on a roof since you hate roofs. She’d expect you to go to the barn since there’s so much hay to hide in. You thought about going to the rotunda, but that’s honestly the second most scary place to be.

You exit the main hall and open the door to the outside stairwell that leads to Ser Phillium’s room. You don’t take the stairs, though. You jump in the plants circling the sitting area to the side of the stairwell. The plants have huge leaves, and Tay would never expect you to hid near Ser Phillium’s room.

You take a deep breath and still your breathing. Every time someone walks nearby, your heart jumps. You play with a dirt clump and count the leaves above your head. At least they smell good, almost like mint.

After a few minutes, you hear Tay’s snickering.

“Knew I’d find ya here.” Tay leaps in the bushes and lands on top of you, her hair falling around your shoulders.

“Fuck you,” you whisper, trying not to think of her breasts over yours. Nope, not thinking about it. “I thought this would be the perfect spot.”

“Ya can’t outsmart me.”

For a moment, all you can hear is your heavy breathing and hers. Her hair tickles your neck. You want to reach up and touch it, but stop and place your hands on her thighs. Shit, that’s probably too forward. She leans forward. You move your face to the side, thinking she will kiss your cheek like last time. Instead, she leans into your neck and nibbles it, her warm breath spreading across your neck.

“They said not to cause pain,” you whisper in a panic. Sweet Andraste, her leg is in your crotch. She has only kissed your cheek, and now she’s biting your neck in a damn bush.

“They said we couldn’t cause too much pain. Just let me know if it’s too much, ‘kay?” Tay’s heart pounds against your chest.

You take a deep breath, which only causes you to rub against her more. “Sure.”

“You’re gonna have to be a little more enthusiastic than that.”

“Please bite me.”

“Shouldn’t we kiss first? Geez.”

You gently shove her. “You just fucking bit my neck. What was I supposed to say?”

“I dunno, I thought this would be more romantic. Like, you invite me to play hide and seek, I find you, and you throw your arms around me and kiss me.”

“So you bite me?”

“I don’t know! I was just feelin bitey. I’m sorry if ya didn’t like it.”

“I did, I was just…”

Tay puts her finger over your mouth. Someone walks down the stairs, whistling. Their footsteps get closer until they sit on the bench in front of you.

“Shit,” you whisper. You recognize those gods awful burnt orange shoes. Ser Phillium is sitting there, reading his damn book.

Tay kisses you, which definitely isn’t the proper way to get you to shut up. You bite her lower lip, and she groans.

Ser Phillium jumps up from the bench and turns around. Shit shit shit shit shit. You look into Tay’s eyes, and she winks. She opens her mouth slightly and lets out a perfect nug click, followed by a chirp.

“Great Andraste, nugs,” Ser Phillium exclaims, quickly retreating from the sitting area, grumbling about the state of Skyhold.

After a good minute, Tay laughs, resting her head on your shoulder. You release your laugh, throwing your arms around her.

 

**Day 23 “This is not new. It only feels like it.”**

You walk into the kitchen, rubbing your crusty eyes and yawning. The sun peaks through the cracked back door, and workers rush in and out of the storage room with supplies for morning tea.

You walk into the storage room to grab…wait, is this the storage room? You squint. Bottles line the bottom shelves in order of color. Small cans of sugar line the second shelf on the left instead of strewn bags all over the floor. Everything is fucking clean and organized. It looks ten times bigger.

“Did we knock out some walls or something,” you ask to no one in particular.

A young man stands up from the corner with a bag of flour in his arms. “Nah, it’s not new. Just feels like it. A few of us stayed over night to clean the place up.” He walks past you and into the kitchen.

A young boy in a big ass hat stands in the other corner. You jump. “Geez, don’t scare me like that.”

“Sugared finger nails graze her arms. Naked and new.” The boy grabs a can of sugar and leaves.

You walk over to the shelves and poke the cold sides of the canned sugar. What did you come in here for again?

 

**Day 24 “You know this. You know this to be true.”**

The back of the tavern chair scratches your spine. You inhale the spicy scent in your mug. The barmaid called it…you don’t remember. You stare into your mug. Half of the liquid is gone, and you chug the rest of it down.

The only reason you’re in this damn tavern is because Tay said she’d be here for dinner an hour ago. Otherwise, you’d be drinking quietly in the courtyard, watching the clouds go by. You signal for more drink, and some dwarfy lady pours you more.

“It ain’t fair,” you sob. “She hates me. She really hates me. Always leavin me.” You smack your head down on the table.

“Ah…there there.” The dwarfy lady pats your shoulder. “I’m sure she don’t hate you that much.”

“But what if she hates me a little?”

“Well…I’m sure we all hate each other a little. Otherwise we wouldn’t be people.” The dwarfy lady leaves you.

Tay slams her ass down in the seat next to yours. “Whoa, you’re already slammed.”

“You hate me,” you whisper, wiping a tear away and sucking snot back down your throat.

“Nah, I love ya. You know that’s the truth of it.”

You quickly raise yourself up, teetering the chair’s front legs off the ground. Fortunately, Tay catches it.

“You love me,” you ask, placing a hand on Tay’s shoulder.

“Well, yeah, ain’t that obvious?”

You cough. More hot tears roll down your face. “You loveeeeee me.”

“Uh, I mean, yeah. I mean, we hang out a lot, and I like like kissin ya.”

You slam your head back on the table. If she loves you, why was she late? “I hate you.”

She pats you on the back. “Hate ya, too, then.”

You roll your head over and look up at her. “But you said you loveeeee me.”

Tay rolls her eyes. “It’s gonna be a long night. Can’t we bitch about Chef or somethin.”

You point at Tay. “Don’t even get me started…”

Someone throws a mug across the tavern. You fall out of your seat, your stomach cramping from laughter. You don’t really remember much else.

 

**Day 25 “Go forward, and do not stray.”**

Tay dramatically flings her head back and places an arm across her forehead. “Go forward, and do not stray.”

“Yeah yeah, sure sure.” You lift your tray off the counter. Your knuckles already whiten from your grip. Fuck all the sick people. You thought today would be easy with Chef sick, too. Not only are you fixing lunches, you’re delivering trays in between. You’ve always enjoyed your nice, quiet dessert corner. Now, everyone is shouting. Old wrinkly Hessa at the end of the tray line keeps barking at you to go faster, and some scrawny shem keeps dropping cups. Tay is literally just supervising everyone and going along with whatever the old lady says.

You’d rather hear their yelling than deliver to the Inquisitor, though.

Out the door, through the hall, calm calm calm. Nobles skirt around the main hall in their foofy skirts, laughing obnoxiously about Andraste knows what. You take a deep breath when you reach the Inquisitor’s door and knock quietly. No answer. You knock louder. The main hall hushes. Nope. You’re not turning around. You kick the door a few times. No answer.

“Just open the fekin door,” someone yells.

You quickly open the door and shut it behind you.

Stairs. And more stairs. Why would there be stairs up to a fucking indoor room?

You reach the top and glance around. Bed empty. Couch empty. Desk empty. No one is even here. You set the tray on the desk at the far end of the room. You take a moment to center it perfectly and organize the contents.

When you’re done, you venture a look around. The room really is breathtaking, but who needs two balconies? You walk over to one and peek out the glass. Fog swims across the snowy mountains. A few birds flitter around the railing. For a moment, it feels like home.

Except that you’re lingering in the Inquisitor’s room. You quickly leave down the stairs, half afraid you’ll bump into him on the way down. Thankfully, you don’t see him.

 

**Day 26 “But if you cannot see it, is it really there?”**

You stretch your legs out, trying to rid your ass of its soreness. You’ve been sitting on this damned barrel for three hours, constantly questioned. First it was Chef, then some shem, and then some super freckly gal who would have looked very attractive if she hadn’t been flipping a knife.

Tay walks in and gently closes the door behind her. “Rough night, huh?”

“Understatement.” You prop your elbows on your legs and slam your head into your hands. “Can I please walk around? Even just in here. Please.”

“Sure.”

You stand. Your head spins. “I didn’t steal anything.”

“I’m not saying you did.” Tay leans against one of the shelves and fiddles with a can of salt. “But if you were to steal anything, you’d need to place it back where you found it.”

You grip your cramping stomach. “I didn’t steal anything.”

“I didn’t say that you did.” Tay barely moves, barely blinks. Her face is completely void of emotion.

“Yes, yes you did! You’re insinuating it. I’m telling you, I never saw anything green on his desk! I literally don’t remember seeing anything at all except the desk, the food.” You throw your hands in the air. “I glanced out the balcony. Is that a crime?”

“No. Stealin is, though.”

“I’m telling you…”

Tay raises her hand and shushes you as your lingering words echo around the room. “That’s enough. I’ll be back tomorrow.” She heads for the door. “Someone will be by to escort you to your quarters.”

You sit on the floor and rub your eyes. “What the fuck…you know what? No. I don’t want to see your fucking face…”

Tay closes the door.

You lie on the ground, clutching your chest. The more you rub your eyes, the more they burn. The storage room blurs in and out.

“But if you cannot see it, is it really there?”

You jolt up. “Who’s there?” The door hadn’t opened, right?

“I said, if you cannot see it, is it really there?”

“Quit fucking playing games with me.” You stand and grab a broomstick out of the corner.

No one responds. You stay like that for several minutes until your escort arrives.

 

**Day 27 “Remember. You have to remember.”**

The room you step into doesn’t have any windows. A long bookshelf lines the back wall with a desk in front of it. The desk has two plush chairs. There is a single potted plant at the side of the desk. You’ve never seen a plant with cream flowers shaped like dicks. The door closes behind you, leaving you alone in the room.

Well, you should probably take a seat. As you do so, Tay walks into the room. You’d rather talk to the Inquisitor himself. He is the one accusing you of stealing, after all. Stealing whatever the fuck green thing he thinks you stole.

Tay sighs and sits on the desk in front of you. “Look, we all get excited when…”

“Blah blah blah blah.” You throw your hands in the air. “I’ve lived with wealthy folk, I don’t give a fuck about their shiny shit. Have you interrogated his maid?”

“You think this is an interrogation?”

“What the fuck else is it?”

Tay rubs her forehead. “Ugh. I mean, you aren’t wrong. The Inquisitor is extremely irate. I suggested that maybe he lost it.” She laughs once, then goes quiet.

“Idiot.”

Tay grabs your shoulders and gently shakes you. “Remember. You have to remember.”

“But if you can’t see it, is it really there?”

“What?”

“I didn’t see anything on his desk when I set the tray down. Either someone else stole it, or he misplaced it.”

“That’s not going to get his bo….get it back.”

“What will happen if I can’t procure this lost item?”

Tay lets go of you and shrugs. “Dunno. I assume they’ll kick you out and tell your previous employer.”

Well, shit. Your previous employer loves you. You were planning on going back when…if all of this was over.

“At this rate, both you and the maid will be fired. So if you have anyth…”

You stand. “I don’t. And you nor the Inquisitor himself will find that I have stolen anything.”

You walk out. Fuck the escort. Fuck Tay. Fuck the Inquisitor.

 

 

**Day 28 “I felt it. You know what I mean.”**

While everyone is busiest fixing dinner, you sneak out of your quarters. The escort that usually stands at your door is gone. She sneaks away frequently. The lost item must not actually be a big deal.

Before you get fired, you have to at least let Ser Phillium know what is going on. You hope his new dessert person hasn’t fucked up his meals.

You sneak through the courtyard, walking at a slow pace, pretending to admire the flowers.

You climb up the stairs to Ser Phillium’s room and take a deep breath before knocking on his door.

“Come in.”

You hear his chair scooting as you open the door.

“Breena, it’s you,” he exclaims.

You look up from the ground. “You know my name?”

“Of course, I always send my compliments to the chef.” He rubs his hands through his thin hair. “Ah, and you told me when you were drunk that night.”

You laugh. “Yeah, that sounds like me.”

“Where have you been the past few days?”

Might as well tell him. “I’ve been accused of stealing from the Inquisitor.”

He stops fiddling with his chair. “You? I highly doubt it.”

You snort. “And what makes you so sure?”

“Well, for one thing, you haven’t tried to poison me yet.”

“And why in Thedas would I do that?”

“Because most people are fed up with me by this point.”

Well, he isn’t wrong, but you’d actually started taking a liking to dessert making. “Nah, it let me be creative.”

“Well, the new person they have keeps bringing me beatroot.”

“Beetroot?”

“Beetroot.”

The two of you laugh.

“I have to ask,” he says, taking a seat. “What are you accused of stealing?”

You roll your eyes. “I ain’t got a clue. Something green.”

His face pales. He lifts the book on his desk. “You think it’s this?”

“What? No, you’ve had that forever.”

“Yes, but I initially borrowed it from Eugene.”

It was weird hearing the Inquisitor’s name aloud. “Yeah? But why would he think he’d lost it recently?”

“I don’t know, but I think it’s this book.”

“How do you friggen know?”

“I just feel it. You know, intuition.”

“Well, if you can unaccuse me, I will be forever in your debt.”

You are able to sneak back to your quarters before the bodyguard…escort returns. You toss and turn all night, attempting to brainstorm plans and towns and potential employers.

 

 

**Day 29 “At least it can’t get any worse.”**

 

The next morning, you skip into the kitchen a free woman. Ser Phillboot was right; it was the stupid green book.

Tay is sitting on the counter at your station. “You little rascal. Blaming Ser Phillibutt.”

You lightly punch her shoulder. “You know that is not how it went.”

“At least it can’t get any worse.”

You nod and search for Ser Phillium’s request note. Nothing on the wall. You check the floor. “They not get the requests last night?”

“Yea? Ser Phillboot left this morning, though.”

Your stomach twists.

“What’s wrong with that,” she asks. “Don’t look like someone killed your pup. Ya ain’t got any more crazy requests.”

“No, no, no.” You smack the counter. “Now I have to work with everyone else.”

“Innit good?”

You flail. “No, I don’t even know any of these people. And now I have to work on all kinds of shite and rush and…” You slam your head on the table and groan.

You won’t be focusing on one petty noble now; you’ll be focusing on them all.


End file.
